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And The Earth Is Satisfied, So Satisfied

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The Quest for Mount Zion Problem and the Repeated Generation of Giant Phantasmagorias in the Twenty-First Century

by Ansgar Magnus and Bruno Fournier

The ancient philosopher Thales set himself the task of discovering the origin of everything that exists, the first principles of being and what it would all ultimately become, and he eventually reached the conclusion that everything originally arose from water and would return to water: Water was the foundation of all existence.  Then Democritus asked himself, “What is everything composed of?” and he decided that the answer was atoms.  Francis Bacon described philosophy as the universal science from which all the other sciences grow like the branches of a tree.  Helvetius thought the real question for the philosopher was the nature of human happiness, whereas for Rousseau everything boiled down to the issue of social inequality and the ways of overcoming it.  Camus wondered: Is life worth living at all?  And Kierkegaard had already answered him: “There is really nothing comic about a puppet, for there is no contradiction in its making the strangest motions when the string is pulled.  But to be a puppet in the service of something inexplicable is comic.”

Proverbs 12:11

“He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread.” Proverbs 12:11 (KJV)

Man the Producer

Whereas monotheism attempts to explain everything through the narrow lens of the pastoral fantasies of ancient cattle breeders, modern-day Science has proven itself much more capable of rationally accounting for the concrete totality of motivational forces behind even the most seemingly inexplicable behaviors and actions of Man the Producer.

We are now living in an age in which there is no longer any serious or legitimate question of the citizen’s right to privacy, that sacred umbrella under which all other birthrights arbitrarily proclaimed by classical liberalism are ideologically subsumed.  In North America, anyways, patriotic chauvinism and hypocritical cynicism have been universally accepted in lieu of scientific knowledge and enlightenment thanks to a public educational system that can only teach children how to pass silently through hallways in alphabetically ordered single-file lines.  When will the workers – the true creators of value – finally put an end to their own servility and permanently do away with the parasitism of the bourgeoisie once and for all?  As always, it remains the world-historical task of the scientific editors of Selecting Stones to promote a more soberly atheistic understanding of the world, hence a more ruthlessly communistic worldview answering to nothing less than the whole totality of motivational forces driving human behavior.  How dare our enemies explain away the actions of Man the Producer as mere religion, when the truth was already perfectly obvious to the Macedonians long before the ancient law-giver Moses set down the fire and brimstone morality of the Pentateuch onto the stone tablet!

Unlike the ancient Israelites and all modern-day Zionists in general, Science explains so much about the harmony and contradictions of the universe: Why do so many well-to-do North Americans refuse to let go of the kind of irrational mysticism that naively attempts to explain each and every phenomena of life and nature just as the child’s fantasy creates angels by a combination of man and bird and mermaids by a composition of woman and fish?  When will the Jews, Christians, Muslims and the other monotheistic traditions stop sacrificing not only each other, but also their own claims to humanity, in the name of being chosen by God, or what’s worse, saved by Him, or by the Absolute Spirit, or by an Ethiopian emperor named Haile Selassie I, or by obscure Buddhist dragon kings, or even by that ruthless psycho motherfucker rapper Eazy-E?

Haile Selassie I

Ethiopian emperor and almighty Rastafarian godman Haile Selassie I, back when he was still known as His Imperial Majesty, privately enjoys his collection of genetically distinct lions, which separates him from barbarians.

Israeli Soldier

One notable component of the ongoing Mt. Zion Problem is its marked tendency to produce whole armies of soldiers who like to wave their automatic assault rifles around dangerously in the faces of young children, even when it’s tactically unnecessary, which is just irresponsible.

The position of Selecting Stones with respect to the place that is historically known to monotheists by the name of Mt. Zion – which is, in reality, just an ugly rock heap that has been infused with hyped-up religious sentiments for several thousand years, now located geographically in territory presently claimed by the Palestinian Liberation Organization, or PLO, and Israel – is as forward-looking as it is dialectical: It’s time for the Mt. Zion problem to be permanently sublated.  In concrete terms, this means that the producers of surplus value must start looking for new revolutionary punishments that can and will be strong enough to dissuade future petty-bourgeois reenactments of the Old Testament Book of Samuel by famous world-historical figures, such as Bob Marley and Robert Mugabe, for instance.  Why do the scientific editors of Selecting Stones insist that it is time for modern Man to stop practicing the religion of the ancient pastoral tribes, namely the Aryans, the Semites, and to a lesser extent the Turanians, who thousands of years ago happened to separate themselves from barbarians by making the domestication of animals, and later the breeding and tending of cattle herds, into their principal occupation?  Why do the scientific editors implore all readers of this revolutionary blog to stop telling each other stories about the miraculous conception of the ancient Hebrew monarchy from some barren womb, and to stop spreading rumors about God’s decision to punish David for his adultery with Bathsheba?

Bill Clinton

The legal right to privacy, which was once so sacred to the bourgeoisie before the rise of cell-switching technologies and the global Internet, was not known to the ancient Hebrew patriarchs, who couldn’t even commit adultery against their wives without God’s intervening.

In the words of Joseph Dietzgen, the Egyptian worshipped the cat while the Christian venerated the divine providence.  But when material necessity led the former to adopt a more well-regulated life, the benefits of the law inspired him with such a high opinion of the law’s noble origin that he adopted his own handiwork as a gift of heaven.  Eventually, however, the invention of the mouse-trap and other useful appliances pushed the cat out of its previously exalted position.  In the Christian conception of the world, on the other hand, the commandments of its religion are absolutely good for all time.  They are considered good because Christian revelation declares them to be so.  Yet although monotheism in general calls the soul the likeness of God, and the body a putrid food for worms, its deeds suggest that it doesn’t take its religious phrases very seriously.

“He maketh the grass to grow for animals… and the earth is satisfied.”

Way too satisfied.


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